Revelation 22
From Stinque Zombie Bible
22:1 And he shewed me a pure river of water of life and death, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the bloody chest of God and eating a Lamb with his bare hands because there were no humans about.
22:2 In the midst of the street of it there were Zombies, and on either side of the river: Zombies , was there the corpse of lunch and some more Zombies, which bare twelve manner of flesh, and yielded her flesh every month: and the skin of the corpse were for the rotting of the nations.
22:3 And there shall be no more curse: but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it; and his servants shall serve him: a plate of brains.
22:4 And they shall see his mangled face; and his name shall be carved in their foreheads with a bloody knife.
22:5 And there shall be no hunger there; and they need no helpless sailor, neither random drunk on the street; for the Lord God giveth them food: and they shall reign for ever and ever, feasting on his endless torso.
22:6 And he said unto me, These sayings are faithful and true: and the Lord God of the hungry prophets sent his angel to feast on his servants.
22:7 Behold, I come quickly, like in the Dawn of the Dead remake: satisfied is he that keepeth the sayings of the prophecy of this book.
22:8 And I John saw these things, and ate them. And when I had heard and eaten, I fell down to feast upon the feet of the angel which had come to feast on me.
22:9 Then saith he unto me, See thou do it not: for I am thy fellowservant, and of thy brethren the prophets, and of them which keep the sayings of this book: feast on God.
22:10 And he saith unto me, Seal not the sayings of the prophecy of this book: for the time is at hand.
22:11 He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy still for we will eat them all.
22:12 And, behold, I come quickly... aw, shit. That's never happened before. I'm so sorry. You wanna hand me a towel? And my reward is with me, to make every man a light snack.
22:13 I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end; "Night", "Dawn", "Day" and even "Land" of the Dead; the originals and the remakes; the first and the last.
22:14 Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the corpse of lunch, and may enter in through the gates into the carvery.
22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and Internet wiki editors with wa-a-a-ay too much time on their hands, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie for they have all been eaten
22:16 I Jesus Franco have sent mine angel to testify unto you these things in the cinemas. I am the root and the offspring of David, and the eater of yummy brains.
22:17 And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the brains of the living freely.
22:18 For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, especially concerning ZOMBIES, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:
22:19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, or shall substitute words concerning ZOMBIES, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
22:20 (Uh - oh.)
22:21 The grace of our Lord Zombie Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen. This program was brought to you by the Number Seven; and by the letters Alpha and Omega.