Psalms 69
From Stinque Zombie Bible
69:1 Save me, O God; for the undead hordes are come in unto my soul.
69:2 I sink in deep bloody gore, where there is no standing: I am come into deep stinking offal, where the blood of thousands overflow me.
69:3 I am weary of my running: my trigger finger is aching: mine mines are all for not. while I wait for my lost friend who hast forsaken me.
69:4 They that try to devour me without a cause are more than the hairs of mine head: they that would tear my limbs from my body , are rightfully mine enemies they are mighty: but mine claymores are mightier.
69:5 O God, thou knowest my insanities ; and my guns and my tactics are not hid from thee.
69:6 Let not them that feast on mine brethren , O great and terrible zombie Jesus, let not they that fester and stink find me hiding amongst the rotten corpses: let those that seek me be confounded for my sake, O God of ghouls.
69:7 Because for my sake I have borne survival; instinct and terror hath covered my face.
69:8 I am become a fleshly food unto my brethren, and the running meaty missive to my mother's children!
69:9 For the zombies of thine house hath tried to eaten me up; and the
approaches of them that would feast upon a child's fingers and thighs are fallen upon me.
69:10 When I wept, and chastened my soul with fleet feet, that was to my only way of staying whole.
69:11 I made rubber and leather also my garment; and I became unbitable to them.
69:12 They that stir at the gates of hell seek to ingest me; and I was the reason for the dripping drool they salivated
69:13 But as for me, my prayer is unto my guns, O god of ghouls , in an acceptable time: O ghoulish one, I shall defeat your minions, in the multitude of thy efforts to destroy me, hear me, in truth, my salvation is my brain Which I shall not sacrifice!
69:14 Deliver me out of the reeking dead, and let me not stink: let me be delivered from them that wish to eat me, and out of the deep black blood.
69:15 Let not the pusflood overflow me, neither let the deep brackish gore swallow me up, and let not the pitiful wrecked wench shut her mouth upon me.
69:16 Hear me, O my guns; for thy aim is good: turn unto the approaching multitude of living dead.
69:17 And hide not thy recoil from my bruised arm; for I am in trouble: hear me speedily.
69:18 Draw high across my thigh and shoot straight, and redeem me, the mad zombie slayer: deliver me because of mine enemies.
69:19 Thou hast known of my killing, and my spree, and my honorable glee: mine adversaries are all before thee as they rot on the pikes I have thrust into them.
69:20 Killing my brethren hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness and sorrow: but I looked and looked for one to not be undead but there was none; and for comfort in that, but I found none.
69:21 They gave me also vegetables for my meat; and in my thirst they gave me water to drink, Yea I eat of the green life and drink the waters of clarity because all else meats are fetid and all else drink are spoiled .
69:22 Let the table they set of bones and sinews, brains and bladder become a snare before them: and that which should have been for their wanton desire, let it become a trap; one which I shall set and snare mine horrid enemies.
69:23 You O god of Ghouls make their eyes to be darkened, that they see not; and make their loins continually to shake and know no seed nor fertile womb.
69:24 Pour out thine indignation upon them, and let thy wrathful anger take hold of them.
69:25 Let their habitation be desolate; and let none dwell in their tents, or malls or streets, for the streets are where they dwell mostly.
69:26 For they persecute me whom thou hast forsaken; and they moan to the grief of those whom thou hast stricken with unending death.
69:27 Add death unto their death: and let them not come into my hiding places, for that is where I dwell, and I am only one woman and have not had a shower scene in many days.
69:28 They are blotted out of the book of the living,for they sprang from the cold ground of the beginning times with no soul in their carapace and rows of hungry teeth in their maws.
69:29 Yea I am poor and sorrowful: for I need a shower and dinner would be nice too, but no I have not these things, I have only my guns and water.
69:30 I will praise the name of all those that have died with a song, and will magnify my voice over a loud speaker so that the Undead throngs will follow the speakers and not me.
69:31 This also shall serve to allow me time to hunt for more foods and better drink, as whiskey sounds really good right now.
69:32 The meek and small shall see this, and be glad: because they will finally come out of hiding and I will protect them until I need to run away, and I don't need to be fast, only faster than they.
69:33 For the small and meek also tend toward weakness, and if they can't hold a gun, they can't protect themselves, and there are but only crackers for food.
69:34 Let the heaven and earth praise him that can find good foods, build strong defenses and run whilst shooting backwards.
69:35 For the god of the undead has built these abominations, and if not for me there would be more and more and more until every child unto this earth were wholly undead slavering monstrosities.
69:36 The seed hath been planted that all the undead shall try to feed upon all the living things, but I will not go down without a fight, and there will be as much ghoulish blood upon the soil, as there is human: if I have anything to say about it!