From Stinque Zombie Bible
16:1 Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in consumed her.
16:2 And it was told the Gazites, saying, Samson is come hither. And they compassed him in, and laid wait for him all night in the gate of the city, and were quiet all the night, saying, In the morning, when it is day, we shall kill him.
16:3 And Samson lay till midnight, and arose at midnight, and took the doors of the gate of the city, and the two posts, and went away with them, bar and all, and put them upon his shoulders, and carried them up to the top of an hill that is before Hebron.
16:4 And it came to pass afterward, that he bit into a woman in the valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. However, he did not consume her and she awakened as kindred undead.
16:5 And the lords of the Philistines came up unto her, and said unto her, Entice him, and see wherein his great strength lieth, and by what means we may prevail against him, that we may bind him to afflict him; and we will give thee every one of us eleven small children and virgin women for your consumption.
16:6 And Delilah said to Samson, Tell me, I pray thee, wherein thy great strength lieth, and wherewith thou mightest be bound to afflict thee.
16:7 And Samson said unto her, If I be bound with seven blonde hairs from the head a human woman that has known no man, then shall I be weak, and be as another zombie.
16:8 Then the lords of the Philistines brought up to her seven blonde hairs from the head a human woman that has known no man, and she bound him with them.
16:9 Now there were men lying in wait, abiding with her in the chamber. And she said unto him, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And he brake the hairs, as a thread of tow is broken when it toucheth the fire. So his strength was not known.
16:10 And Delilah said unto Samson, Behold, thou hast mocked me, and told me lies: now tell me, I pray thee, wherewith thou mightest be bound.
16:11 And he said unto her, If they bind me fast with the stomach lining of babes, then shall I be weak, and be as another zombie.
16:12 Delilah therefore took the stomach lining of babes, and bound him therewith, and said unto him, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And there were liers in wait abiding in the chamber. And he brake them from off his arms like a thread.
16:13 And Delilah said unto Samson, Hitherto thou hast mocked me, and told me lies: tell me wherewith thou mightest be bound. And he said unto her, If thou feed me the kidney of an elderly man then shall I be as weak as any other zombie.
16:14 And she prepared a feast and roasted an elderly man's kidney over a fire that she did make, and served to him the kidney. And when he had consumed all that was before him and slipped into slumber she spake unto him saying, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And he awaked out of his sleep, and broke a pillar as if to do battle.
16:15 And she said unto him, How canst thou say, I love thee, when thine heart is not with me? thou hast mocked me these three times, and hast not told me wherein thy great strength lieth.
16:16 And it came to pass, when she pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death;
16:17 That he reached into his chest cavity and removed his heart and handed it to her saying, There hath not come a razor upon mine head; for I have been a zombie unto God Zombie from my mother's womb: if I be shaven and partially consumed, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other Zombie.
16:18 And when Delilah saw that he had told her truth and returned to him his heart, she sent and called for the lords of the Philistines, saying, Come up this once, for he hath showed me all his heart. Then the lords of the Philistines came up unto her, and brought children and virgins bound by their hands and feet. And Delilah did feast upon their hips and thighs.
16:19 And she made him sleep upon her knees; and she called for a human, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head; and she began to consume him, and his strength went from him.
16:20 And she said, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And he awoke out of his sleep, and said, I will go out as at other times before, and shake myself. And he wist not that the LORD Zombie was departed from him.
16:21 But the Philistines took him, and put out his eyes, and brought him down to Gaza, and bound him with fetters of brass; and he did grind in the prison house.
16:22 Howbeit the hair of his head began to grow again after he was shaven.
16:23 Then the lords of the Philistines gathered them together for to offer a great sacrifice unto Dagon their god, and to rejoice: for they said, Our god hath delivered Samson our enemy, the undead, into our hand.
16:24 And when the people saw him, they praised their god: for they said, Our god hath delivered into our hands our enemy, and the destroyer of our country, which slew many of us and turned us into the undead.
16:25 And it came to pass, when their hearts were merry, that they said, Call for Samson, that he may make us sport. And they called for Samson out of the prison house; and he made them sport: and they set him between the pillars that they may cut off his body parts and rejoice in his death.
16:26 And Samson said unto the lad that held him by the hand, Suffer me that I may feel the pillars whereupon the house standeth, that I may lean upon them.
16:27 Now the house was full of men and women; and all the lords of the Philistines were there; and there were upon the roof about three thousand men and women, that beheld while Samson made sport.
16:28 And Samson called unto the LORD Zombie, and said, O Lord Zombie, remember me, I pray thee, and strengthen me, I pray thee, only this once, O Zombie God, that I may be at once avenged of the Philistines for my two eyes.
16:29 And Samson broke the ties that bound him and leapt forth into the men and women; and all the lords of the Philistines and made zombies of them. And it came to pass that Delilah arrived at the house and the people of the house consumed her.
16:30 And Samson said, Let me die with the Philistines. And he poured oil upon himself and the zombies which he had made in house, and set alight the oil which he had poured
16:31 Then his brethren and all the house of his father came down, and took him, and brought him up, and buried him between Zorah and Eshtaol in the buryingplace of Manoah his father. And those that escaped feasted upon the Philistines for twenty years.