Job 40

From Stinque Zombie Bible

40:1 Moreover the LORD answered Job, and said,

40:2 Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun.

40:3 Then Job answered the LORD, and said,

40:4 Behold, I am vile; what shall I answer thee? I will lay mine hand upon my mouth. And start eating it. Might as well get in practice for zombiehood; because verily: I am fucked.

40:5 Once have I spoken; but I will not answer: yea, twice; but I will proceed no further, because what's the fucking point?

40:6 Then answered the LORD unto Job out of the whirlwind, and said,

40:7 Gird up thy loins now like a man: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me. Thou art my bitch.

40:8 Wilt thou also disannul my judgment? wilt thou condemn me, that thou mayest be righteous?

40:9 Hast thou an arm like God? or canst thou thunder with a voice like him?

40:10 Deck thyself now with majesty and excellency; and array thyself with glory and beauty.

40:11 Cast abroad the rage of thy wrath: and behold every one that is proud, and sic zombies on his ass.

40:12 Look on every one that is proud, and bring him low; and tread down the wicked in their place... by siccing zombies on their asses.

40:13 Hide them in the dust together; and bind their faces in secret. And then sic zombies on their asses.

40:14 Then will I also confess unto thee that thine own right hand can save thee, if thou cuttest it off and replacest it with a chain-saw.

40:15 Behold now Zombie-hemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth brains.

40:16 Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly.

40:17 He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together.

40:18 His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron.

40:19 He is the chief of the ways of God: he that made him can shoot him in the head.

40:20 Surely the mountains bring him forth food, where all the beasts of the field play.

40:21 He lieth under the shady trees, in the covert of the reed, and fens.

40:22 The shady trees cover him with their shadow; the willows of the brook compass him about.

40:23 Behold, he drinketh up a river, and hasteth not: he trusteth that he can draw up Jordan into his mouth.

40:24 He taketh it with his eyes: his nose pierceth through snares.